The COVID pandemic revealed to me just how powerful peer relationships can be when leaders face extraordinary stress, uncertainty, and the weight of responsibility for their staff and the families they serve. In this piece, I reflect on why leaders need more than mentors and coaches—we need peers who understand the terrain, share similar challenges, and are committed to professional and personal growth. And when we lend a hand to our peers, the benefits can be greater than any of us could achieve alone.

There was a lot going on. And I wasn't taking particularly good care of myself.

Like a lot of leaders, I was taking care of everything else—and putting myself somewhere down the list. I was experienced, committed, and deeply invested in the work. But I wasn't bringing my best self to it.

I was more reactive. Less patient. Less energetic. Less resilient.

The work was hard.

But eventually I had to ask myself:

Was the job the only thing making it hard?

Even the most capable leaders can lose their footing. I did. It wasn’t until I finally reached out for help that I began to rebuild — not just my confidence, but my capacity to lead with authenticity and purpose. “Embattled to Empowered” shares how coaching transformed my leadership and why asking for help might be the bravest move a leader can make.

When was the last time you truly invested in yourself—not for productivity’s sake, but for your own growth? A recent men’s retreat reminded me how essential this is for all of us who lead and care for others.

“You probably won’t want to do much until about a week after surgery,” my surgeon had warned. “And most people feel like themselves again in three weeks, at best.”

But five days post-surgery, I walked five miles. About a week out, I played some golf. By about day 12, other than being limited to soft foods, I felt like myself and by day thirteen, I was back at the gym — well ahead of schedule. 

Here’s the truth: my recovery wasn’t about grit or willpower in the moment. It was the result of nearly a decade of consistent effort. A choice, made years ago, to prioritize my physical and mental health through structure and habit.

With all there is to accomplish as a leader and the endless problems to solve, taking time to ask for feedback on how my actions impact their success wasn't high on my to do list.

But It should have been!

Read more about my recent discovery and it's practical, everyday application.

After Open Sky closed, I took a long exhale. I was fortunate enough to take time to spend with my family, travel, and relax in a way I had not been able to for years—really, more than a couple of decades. But, there was this periodic nagging that would creep in. A kind of unease. Then a conversation with someone I just barely met a couple days before changed everything.